Getting a mobile in Bombay ought to be easier...

Since I'm going to be in Bombay for a little longer than couple of weeks, I decided to get a mobile number. The easiest way is supposed to be a prepaid option. I went to the neighborhood Vodafone dealer (I believe I had gotten a similar mobile number setup with them last year) to get information about the application etc. The form clearly stated a requirement of two different sets of ID: a passport is helpful and proof of address via an electricity bill or similar. Having paid Rs.150 for the sim card, I filled out the application, and got all my documents ready - a black/white photo, passport, PAN card (this is India's version of a national ID card of sorts & stands for Permanent Account Number) and an official letter from my father's work confirming that I live where I do, and copies of all the original documents etc. The letter from work is in lieu of an electric bill and an Indian's driver's license; more on the license later. The boy (yeah, he's probably only 17yrs old, working at his father's shop) at the shop, without so much as a glance at my application and papers, outright rejected it. He complained about the black/white photo, although it was current (a day old) and clearly it was me. He didn't even bother reading the official letter that confirmed my residence. The Indian passport and PAN card did not mean anything, especially since the passport had a Jaipur address (where I lived when I got the passport made, some 10yrs ago). I'm not sure what folks are supposed to do if they move around; I think the boy expected me to have gotten a new passport every time I moved. In any case, I got a chance to speak with the shop owner (the boy's father I believe) who actually read all the documents I'd brought, and after having me sign them all in front of him (verifying my signature with the one in my passport), he okayed it and said the application would be processed in 24hrs. Sounds like I did pretty good right? Unfortunately you'd be very wrong if you thought that.

A day later after all this tamasha I got a call from the shop owner/father saying that the application could not be processed because my passport had a Jaipur address and the letter from work was not acceptable. In such scenarios, one cannot really argue anything. It's just best to say okay and move on. I decided then that the following day I'd go back to the shop, try to retrieve the Rs.150 I'd spent, and get all my papers back.. essentially trying to get back to square one - no harm, no foul. When I went there the next day, the boy of course had to quip "I told you so...". I tried to get the refund but that was not possible. Instead all I got back were my papers and application. They suggested I go to the Vodafone gallery nearby, which was an official Vodafone place where they'd be able to sort out whatever mess I had just gotten myself into. I called Vodafone to find out exactly where their gallery was. They said the closest one to my home was at Nakshatra near Kabutar Khana. They had no phone or other contact info at all except that. Now, if you're ever in Bombay and have to be at Nakshatra (an old cinema hall now converted into a uninspiring mall of sorts) on Ranade road on a busy week day, do regretfully decline as it's extremely busy; that's an understatement. Crossing the streets is dangerous at best. Since it was my need to get this mobile number application resolved, I went. Unfortunately, the Vodafone gallery in Nakshatra had been closed for over a year. Vodafone didn't even have accurate information for their own retail outlets!!!

Not wanting to give up this goose chase, I asked around about where the Vodafone might be and found it was actually close to the Prabhadevi Temple. After a few missed turns on one-way streets, we finally found it. The Vodafone store was nice, cool, brightly lit and attended by young, smartly-dressed professionals. I was feeling hopeful already. There was a monitor set up right as one entered, to issue tokens with numbers to each customer, as a way to ensure speedy, in queue service. I was about to get my token when the security guard (now what did he know about the workings of this place?) questioned what I needed help with. I told him and he directed me, token-less, to the first counter where people were already being helped. I waited in turn and when my chance cropped up, a woman not dressed in uniform and who I believe was the store manager, asked what my need was and then passed me along to another guy-in-uniform at one of the help desks. He looked at my papers and again pretty quickly said my application was not possible. Of course I had to try and make my case. I said the form requested only two forms of ID and that I had with me four (by this time I had also taken a bank statement that showed my name and Bombay address along with passport, PAN card, and work letter) so what was the problem? The guy was unable to answer and simply said the application was not possible. At this stage of the game, I realized that he was only able to deal with straightforward cases and that mine obviously wasn't that. I requested to speak with the manager. A woman-in-uniform came out stating she was the manager (I knew better but okay, I went along) and so I explained my situation again. Having a non-local though Indian address in my passport was causing the mess. It didn't make sense but there you have it. And my proof of residence with the bank statement and work letter were deemed meaningless. Quite a quandary to be in. Finally after being really annoyed at the situation, I simply said... "Listen, I would like a mobile number. I just want a simple pre-paid card. And you're making me jump through hoops. How many more documents do you need? It's obviously me, applying in person... see the passport, photos, PAN card (it has a photo as well)... something should be possible." The "manager" finally said that if I had had a notarized bank statement, i.e. double proof of my local residence, then something was doable. However, she was going to do me a favor and go with what I had. Wow - a favor! I am indeed obliged. I filled out another form, and a second form for "outstation" people (that darn'd Jaipur address!) and presented copies of all the documents, signed them too, provided a new color passport photo... and finally the application was set to be processed. The "manager" said my phone would be working in couple of hours. Could this moment really be happening?

I'm not sure what the original Rs.150 bought me but after couple of hours, I was able to receive calls but not make any. The story continues... today we tried to "top-up" the phone via online banking. The bank debited Rs.222 but Vodafone didn't top-up my number. When we called Vodafone again, we were told that actually we'd have to pay Rs.10 to activate mobile-to-mobile calling, then pay Rs.29 to get 10mins of talktime and the rest a processing fee, then pay Rs.52 to buy into the "1paisa per second" plan, and then additionally top-up with Rs.200 for more talktime. When I left the Vodafone gallery, it really seemed to me that I didn't have to do anything more except to top-up whenever the talktime ran out. The Vodafone reps didn't say anything either. Can you believe that all these additional steps are needed, in that particular order too, to actually get the mobile number to work? I'll be back at the Vodafone gallery tomorrow to pay these additional fees, which will hopefully get my mobile working. Then, I will call you...